Listen Up!

For Teachers
Listening involves more than the ears. It also involves the heart, mind, and will. In a “Family Circus” cartoon, the little girl is looking at her daddy, who is reading the newspaper. She tugs at his sweater and says, “Daddy, you need to listen to me with your eyes as well as your ears.”

Listen to me, say your kids. Listen to my worries, my fears, my joys, my anger, my questions. Listen—really listen! When you listen to me you tell me I am important. When you listen to me, you show me God’s gracious listening ears. You show me that God listens when I pray. When you listen to me—really listen to me—you give me permission to ask important questions and explore my faith.

Listening does not come naturally to most of us. But it is a skill that can be learned. Here are some important elements of active listening:

1. Listen with your whole body.
Maintain eye contact. Gesture, nod, smile; lean into the conversation. Do whatever you can to show the child you are engaged with her. Kids need to know that all of you is listening, and that you’re listening not only to their words but also to their hearts.

2. Watch for body language.
Only a small part of communication is revealed through words. Drooping shoulders and folded arms reflect more than what the child is saying. Sparkling eyes and dancing toes speak volumes.

3. Give kids permission to talk.
Begin conversations with open-ended starters, “Tell me about your day” or “I wonder how you feel about your sick dog.” Often children need to be encouraged to talk, to know that you are really interested.

4. Don’t interrupt.
Listening takes patience. Children have a more limited vocabulary and take longer to express themselves than adults. Also, speaking about their concerns makes them vulnerable; an interruption may squash their hesitant attempts to share their ideas or thoughts.

5. Don’t formulate your response while the child is still talking.
Children can read eyes and body language very quickly. . . they’ll know if you’ve tuned out.

6. Ask clarifying questions.
Make sure you’re hearing the essence of what the child is saying. Rephrase what you think you’re hearing, then ask, “Is this what you’re saying, or am I getting it wrong?”

7. Reflect children’s feelings.
Often children can’t name their feelings with words, or are afraid to name them. You can help. When you say, “It sounds like you are sad that your friend has found a new buddy to hang out with,” your expression may bring relief that an unspoken feeling has been validated.

8. Ask for kids’ opinions regularly. (They definitely have them!)
Ask questions like “What do you think is the most important problem world leaders should solve?” When you ask for their opinions, it shows you respect their ideas. Bonus: you learn a lot about your children.

9. Share your own questions and problems. (In age-appropriate ways, of course)
“Can anyone explain the rules of soccer to me? I’m trying to learn the game.”

10. Ask good questions.
Extend conversations by asking good questions that reveal more about the child’s world.

When adults model good listening, children learn essential communication skills. The greatest audience a child can have is a caring, thoughtful, interested adult who is important to them. That’s you!

—from Trail Mix: Good Stuff for Walk With Me Teachers by Jessie Schut. Check out the book for other helpful teaching tips!

For Coordinators
At Faith Alive we think listening is crucial. We need to know all about the churches we serve in order to provide relevant resources. In February a Faith Alive team set out on a listening tour across the US and Canada. We heard stories and ideas from children’s ministry leaders, church educators, pastors, and lay leaders. Though we spanned two countries, we couldn’t go everywhere!

We Want to Hear from You
If we missed your town it’s not too late for you to add your input! We want to hear about your resource needs and ideas—what’s working and what’s not? Take a minute to fill out our quick online survey or send us an e-mail at editors@faithaliveresources.org. Your input will help us shape curricula and resources that will meet your church’s needs.

Plan Your Own Listening Tour
Connect with the volunteers, parents, kids, and teens in your church to hear how people are growing and to look for new possibilities. Compiles stories and suggestions to share with the congregation and talk over with the education team. It may spark a renewed interest in education within your congregation and help you find ways to strengthen your faith formation programs.

Recommended Resources
Great for new teachers as well as experienced ones, Trail Mix: Good Stuff for Walk With Me Teachers offers inspiration and encouragement from experienced Sunday school teachers. This book provides helpful tips and problem-solving ideas and offers practical information that can help you get maximum benefit from Walk With Me.

WWM summer units will make your summer sizzle! Each offers five easy-prep sessions that help kids grow in their faith while they’re having fun! Use them for a week of VBS or for five weeks of Sunday school. Best of all, everything you need is in ONE book.